Where’s my love?

Poonam Verma

These days, people have formed online groups where every few minutes, someone is asking to pray for a loved one. It is chaos everywhere. Everyone is sick of the bad news. People are fighting, struggling for their dear lives, many of them are losing battle in the hands of this cruel pandemic or have fallen prey to the corrupt system. It’s not strange that the system has failed the common man once again, the strange thing is that, ‘this time it has failed the rich too’.

The only thing we can do is stay positive, during this ongoing battle. But how can we? Lockdown is ever extending. Everyone is at home. And that means, no domestic help too. Few lucky women have got permanent help at their homes but not all. Atleast not me. My maid is a local, she comes to work daily and goes back to her home. Now, that she is not able to come over, I am the one playing an all-rounder these days. Of course, everyone offers to help but when the time comes, their own work and sometimes, time of rest becomes more important. So I usually end up doing everything on my own. As a result, my day starts at 6.30 a.m. and does not end before mid night. And I am quite sure that this is the story of every other woman out there. Either you get ready to drain your energy in calling after your kids or it is a DIY (do it yourself) programme.

The other day too, it was a busy day. Does this lockdown stop anything, by the way? My husband had a meeting in 10 minutes and my son was already sitting in front of the computer for his online class. Since I wanted them to have breakfast before work, I was rushing around making breakfast ready for them. As I crossed my wall mirror, I happened to look at it. A pretty woman with messed up hair was staring back at me. I observed her for a few seconds.

‘Oh my God! What have you done to yourself?’ A small voice shouted in my head.

‘Hmmm… so that’s what it has come down to. Now that I recall, I haven’t been in front of the mirror since yesterday. What am I doing? This is not fair. What difference does it make if it is lockdown and I am not going out? I shouldn’t be neglected. Not by me. In fact, I should be my priority.’

With these thoughts, I returned to the kitchen to finish my work. As soon as the work was done, I went to my room and selected nice clothes for myself.

I got ready and put on light makeup and nicely tied my hair too. Now when I looked into the mirror, a beautiful woman was smiling back at me. ‘Yes, this is me’.

It was a nice feeling, a satisfaction, contentment, a feeling of happiness, a feeling of love, for myself. I blew a kiss to myself and got back to work.

I kept smiling all day, singing to myself. My son asked me, ‘Mom, why are you so decked up? Are you going somewhere?’

‘Nope.’ I said.

‘O….. self love, mamma?’ He asked.

‘Yesss’, I answered with a 40 watt smile.

Strange, how little acts bring big changes in our life.

Love,

Poonam Verma

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